Confronting hard things

I started writing this back in March and I struggled for a month (!) to articulate what I wanted to share until I was doing some work with a client that helped me gain clarity. So, here it finally is:

I used to read many business books but events of the last few years have affected my attention span. Recently, though, I've been thinking about one particular story in Good to Great by Jim Collins that's always stayed with me.

In chapter 4 of the book, Collins describes "The Stockdale Paradox." It goes like this:

Admiral Jim Stockdale was the highest-ranking officer in the "Hanoi Hilton," a pretty brutal place for prisoners of war in Vietnam. Stockdale was there from 1965-1973 and lived through it with no idea of whether he'd get out to see his family again. 8 years!

Collins spoke with the former POW about his experience and asked him who didn't make it out, and this is how Stockdale responded:

"The optimists. ...They were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christams would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.

"This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be."

The timing of when I heard this passage is why it stuck. I happened to be in a situation professionally that I genuinely believed would not get better. In confronting that reality, it made it easier to make hard decisions about what I needed to do for me.

Most of us don't know what it is to live as a prisoner of war for eight years and everything that comes with that. Still, we can use this paradox to help us navigate the challenges and unpleasant realities of operating a business.

Here's how Collins summed up The Stockdale Paradox:

Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties

AND at the same time

Confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.

When you're going through any challenge in your business (or life)—big or small—the last thing you want to do is ignore the reality of your circumstances. Doing that won't help you address them.

And we all have business challenges - business has an ebb and flow that can be particularly hard the smaller you are. I've been living this reality for a while.

Revenue challenges can be among the hardest to face and address, especially when life happens. Unlike what you hope for with a business, I've made changes (some intentional) and had to address unexpected life events that have had a huge impact on my revenue since I left corporate to work full-time in my business three years ago.

My first-year revenue far exceeded my expectations, but things didn't stay that way. This year, I'm building back up and it's going well. But I couldn't do it if I wasn't willing to acknowledge where I'm at and how it happened. I can't think of anything I'd change about how I reacted to the circumstances I was in, which helps.

The thing is, our circumstances sometimes weigh us down in ways that lead us to want to ignore them, which often makes things worse. Of course, sometimes you actually do need a break from thinking and doing. (I'm a BIG fan of taking breaks when needed.)

When you're ready to go, get back to it. And remember, working with intention to get where you want to go is only effective if you choose actions that consider as many of factors in play as you can.

The good you bring to your people is worth it. And if you're struggling, I hope it helps you to know you definitely aren't alone. What we're doing is hard and fulfilling, exhausting and exhilarating, and all the conflicting emotions and energy you can think of. But this is the best job in the world to me and I never want to do anything else.

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to have that unfailing belief that you'd achieve your goal while facing big challenges in your way? I'd love to hear about it.